News that the internet is to be suspended for a period of 7 days next month has been greeted angrily by UK businesses. Government officials made the announcement this morning having worked closely in secret with technologists and ISPs over the past 6 months. “This inactivity will allow the major internet backbones (routers) to have ‘a breather’, given they have been in constant use ever since the internet’s inception” explained a government spokesman.

Reaction has been furious, particularly amongst those businesses who are reliant on internet connectivity. Martin Chambers of Amazon said “Yes, we’re pretty annoyed about this.” Jane Phillips of eBay responded by saying “We’re cross.”

Certain groups have been canvassing to have the internet scrapped altogether, but there has been no indication that this will happen.